Oh, Such a Heavy Love
by Rochellena
Summary: Sometimes, things just happen.
1. Chapter 1

__Ok this is just pure fun. I got bored, and starting writing what I wanted to happen. Obviously I am not a very good writer, but I am hoping you can overlook that and enjoy. Thank you! :D

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><p><em>For the second time in less than a year, Blair Cornelia Waldorf was running through John F. Kennedy airport be stared at by other travelers and airport employees. The same airport, the same terminal, the same players, but this time the roles were reversed. She heard the loud clock announcing the new hour. She was late, but she knew there was a chance she could still make it.<em>

_ "It's a commercial flight. It's probably delayed, and full of sick elderly and screaming children who are slowing down the boarding. That's what happens when you don't charter a private plane," she told herself as she saw the sign for number 9 in the distance. _

_XoXoXoXoXoXo_

A light tapping on her shoulder, woke Blair out her dream. It was one she had several times recently. Everything about it bothered her. It wasn't an Audrey dream, or even a Grace Kelly or Bette Davis dream, but that wasn't what bothered her the most. Over the last few months, she had had fewer and fewer movie-esque dreams. Why have nightmares based in fantasy, when she had been through so many in real life?

She had lost her unborn child in an car accident that was the result of horrible decision making, had her wedding interrupted twice, first by one Louis aunts loudly declaring that Serena looked like a prostitute and second by Chuck's loud overtures of fate and magnetism.

Then her reception had been a complete disaster. Within the first ten minutes, Penelope had a wardrobe malfunction while dancing with one of Louis' many cousins, Nate had gotten in a heated argument with his grandfather, and Beatrice had been caught snogging Father Cavalia in a broom closet. That should have been the last straw, but of course, she still hadn't been able to make herself leave. Then she had to go and dance with Dan. Of course it was Humphrey's fault, it was always his fault.

XoXoXo{FLASHBACK}oXoXoX

"So, you're really married now, huh?" Dan asked looking down at her with a soft smiley.

"Barely, and no thanks to anyone else," she answered, not returning the smile.

"Yeah, well." he said simply, she looked and saw a look of hurt in his dark eyes.

She immediately felt bad. He had been there for her so much in the last few weeks._ He had helped her pick the dress, not like his small gasps and mumbled assurances of "You look beautiful," and "Louis will love it, I do" had actually provided much help. He had been there the night that her pain over the miscarriage had manifested in reckless behavior ending in her arrest, release, and inevitable emotional breakdown. _

_ Finally, yesterday, when Julien, Louis' third cousin twice removed, had been shipped back home after Beatrice, whom Blair suspected was behind it, had discovered hundreds of pills and a large amount of top-shelf cocaine in his luggage, Blair had began to have a panic attack over the asymmetry of the bridal party, "The pictures are going to look ridiculous! Kate never had to deal with this! Why should I?" Dan stepped in, and offered to fill the vacant spot, so she have her fairytale just as she had imagined, though she was worried about what his hair was going to do to the final portraits, and she had told him so._

"Ok, I will grant that you have had your moments of usefulness," she saw a small look of pleasure replace the one of hurt.

"Anything for her royal highness. I would hate to lose my head." he said jovially.

She let out a soft laugh, and then just stared out over his shoulder watching everyone else. Nate had calmed down, Beatrice was talking with Georgina in the corner, Louis was at the bar, and Serena was sitting next to Chuck, both were watching the dancing pair. Blair didn't know why they were staring, but she noted that Serena still looked angry at her. For once, Blair didn't know she had done to upset her blonde bombshell of a best friend. Serena had be cold to her from the moment she had awoken this morning, and judging by the way Dan had gone out of his way to ignore Serena at the reception, Blair assumed he too had done something to incite the blonde's rage. She peripherally noticed that the music had changed, but they had yet to stop dancing. Dan's voice broke her out of her thoughts.

"Hmm, what?" she asked reverently.

"Having trouble hearing today, Waldorf?" he questioned.

"It's Grimaldi now," Blair ignored his slight grimace, "and besides, maybe if you had something that was worth saying, then I might listen."

"I just asked, are you happy?" he repeated.

"Oh." she paused for a moment before finishing "I am a princess now, right? What more is there?"

"That's not what I asked." he stared at her, waiting for answer.

"Well, what do you want to know then? It's my wedding day, and I am not in the mood to play mind games with you, Humphrey." Blair was starting to get annoyed.

"Does Louis make you happy?" Dan asked, sincerely.

"He's a good man." she replied simply.

"Blair." He continued staring at her.

"What? He makes me happy enough, and he's not Chuck, thank god. Besides, the last time I chose to not be with him, I ended up in a hospital with a concussion and a miscarriage." She snapped.

"I'm sorry, Blair." His face flushed in embarrassment.

"This was really the best decision I could have made. Louis is a good man, who loves me. He might have problems with my past, but he can appreciate most of me." she continued, wanting to move past those memories.

"You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, all of you, Bass-infected past and all." he said softly.

"Too bad that sort of thing is limited to Jane Austen novels." she spoke wistfull.

"You never answered my question. Does he make you happy?" He prodded.

Before she could answer, or if she was honest, deflect, the music changed again, and she pulled away, and made her way over to the bar to order a martini. As she turned to return to take her place at the head of the table, she saw Georgina, Beatrice, Louis, and a young brunette that was unknown to her, involved in an intense debate. Blair made her way over to small group and held her hand out to the new face.

"Hi. I don't know you, what are you doing here?" Blair asked, fake smile plastered across her face, finger tracing the top of her glass.

"Excuse me? Who are you?" the uninvited woman questioned.

"I'm Blair Waldorf-Grimaldi, this is my wedding, who the hell are you?" Blair, feeling anger starting to fill her veins, spoke louder.

"I'm Celina, the love of Louis' life." the young woman replied haughtily.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you. What?" Blair asked good-naturedly, face all fake smiles and batting eyelashes again.

"I said I'm Ce-" that was all she was able to get out before Blair poured her martini down the front of the tart's dress and chaos broke out.

Louis began trying to explain to Blair that this was all just a misunderstanding, that he hadn't seen this girl in years. Beatrice showed Blair's pictures of the two of them together, talking outside of the embassy the previous night after he had dropped Blair off. Celina was in the middle of calling Blair a number of highly inappropriate names that even Chuck would embarrassed by. Georgina was just sitting back laughing, watching as more and more people began to join the fray.

After Louis story had changed a second time, and he had started a new round of apologies, Blair had enough. This was all too much. She gathered her train and flowers and headed outside, not that anyone noticed it amongst the ever-growing chaotic scene. An old conversation played over and over in her head: _Say life is giving you signs, and you are ignoring them because you're afraid of they are signaling you to do._ Well, she was tired of ignoring those signs. She wasn't happy, and outside of the occasional art discussion or movie viewing with Humphrey, she hadn't been in a long time. She was done with all the the condescension of Louis' family, the fake smiles for the photographers, but most of all, she was tired of lying to herself. Yes, she had wanted a fairytale, but how was she supposed to live happily ever after when she couldn't even find peace and joy on her wedding day.

She felt hopeless and then noticed the car that was waiting to take her and Louis from the St. Regis to the private jet that was to take them away, moving closer. The driver must have seen her and thought it was time to depart. The next part stayed a blur in her mind. One moment she was standing outside, and the next she throwing her bouquet to the ground and rushing across the street towards the decorated classic Rolls Royce. She jumped in the back and told the driver to take her to JFK. She had to get away. She couldn't be here anymore, this reception, Manhattan, New York, this new marriage, it was all to much and it was choking her. How could she have let herself get this far. She was married to man that she didn't love and she was so, so unhappy. The driver tried to argue that they should wait for His Highness, but once Blair broke out in tears, he shut up and start driving.

The next thing she remembered clearly was sitting on a dirty public bench, wedding dress pooling out around her, and someone sitting next to her and grabbing her hand.

"Are you ok?" A simple question from a very familiar voice.

"What does it look like to you, Humphrey? I am sitting in the middle of an airport terminal, surrounding by coughing children, wearing a hundred-thousand dollars worth of diamonds, but I can't even afford a business class flight on this bargain commercial airline.

"First of all, I wouldn't talk about how much that jewelry is worth so loudly. Secondly, a hundred-thousand dollars? Really? Lastly, maybe the next time you plan on running out of the country, you should remember to bring your purse and passport."

"Yes, my biggest mistake today was not hiding my passport in my bustier and cash in my garter. Not like there really is enough material on either to support the weight. Maybe if I had worn the leather-" she stopped mid-tangent when she noticed Dan shifting uncomfortably next to her. She looked over and noticed a slight pink flush running up his cheeks to his ears. "Why, Humphrey, are you blushing? Are so much of a self-loathing prude that me talking about my underwear upsets you?"

"Upset is not the word I would use. Anyway, back to the matter at hand." he coughed and looked desperate to change the subject.

"And what would that be?" she asked, watching the tourists form groups before breaking off and forming new ones.

"Why did you leave?" He was staring directly at her, she could feel him looking at her.

She turned to meet his gaze."You."

"Wh-what?" he stammered.

"You and your stupid questions about happiness. I would have been on my way to Dubai right now, sitting in a private jet, next to my husband, the Prince of Monaco, but you had to go and do that stupid thing you do, where you care about people and try to help them. Now I am sitting in the Jet Blue terminal talking to you about my problems, again."

"What were your plans?" he asked bemusedly.

"I don't know, I just knew that I had to get away from there. When that harlot showed up, laying claim to Louis, I just snapped. I didn't care whether he was telling the truth or not because in that moment, I realized that the fairytale was all a lie. Louis didn't make me happy and no title or beautiful coastal palace was going to be fill that void. I don't know," she shrugged, "I guess I just felt trapped and like I needed to break free."

"So you were just going to leave?" Dan asked.

"That was the plan, still is if you happened to bring your wallet with you." Blair responded with a shrug.

"You were just going to leave without saying goodbye to anyone?" He asked, an annoyed tone entering his voice.

"What would it matter? Chuck is still angry at me about the engagement in the first place, Nate is busy dealing with his family, and Serena is upset at me about something," she noticed he flinched at the last part, but decided to ignore it.

"What about your mom and Cyrus? Harold and Roman? How about Louis? Doesn't he at least deserve an explaination?" He continued to question.

"I was planning on calling my mother and Cyrus as soon as I landed, and they would have talked to Daddy and Roman. Not that it's any of your business, but I would have talked to Louis once I was settled in."

"You were going to break up with him over the phone? You do realize that divorces don't work like that right?" Dan asked, shaking his head.

She elbowed in him the side. "Oww, ok ok. Fine no more questions about Louis," he looked over at her smug smile and finished "at least for the next five minutes."

She let out small laugh before recovering. "So, as you can see, my leaving wasn't going to really affect anyone else."

"What about me?" His tone was softer, she didn't know if she had heard him correctly at first.

"What about you?" She replied carefully.

Dan kicked at the floor and looked out at the runways "You were just going to leave without telling me goodbye?" his voice barely audible.

The words hadn't affected her much, she had ten retorts already prepared, but the way he spoke broke her rhythm. It wasn't his normal, quick-witted voice, or even his annoying, judgemental voice. It was a voice she had only heard him use once or twice, and both of those times with Serena, when she was in the process of breaking his heart. It made her feel something strange, but she really didn't think about the implications of that. He must have noticed her uncomfortableness because quickly, he stood up and reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a small money clip and a cell phone.

"What are you doing Humphrey." she asked, surprised by the sudden movement.

"I want you to listen to something," and he handed her his cell phone.

She gingerly held it up to her ear, slightly afraid it might explode. When she realized what she was hearing, she immediately felt guilty and strangely, thankful. It was voicemail message after voicemail message from her friends , Chuck and Serena, Nate and Dorota, hell, even Eleanor had called. They were all reports from places that she had not been at.

"We all went looking for you. Everyone was so scared. Right now. There is a team of very well-dressed people out roaming the streets of New York in January, wanting nothing more than to find you, and make sure you are ok."

"I don't understand." she said, confused.

"They love you, and care about you, and were worried out of their minds when they looked over to where you had been standing only to discover you weren't there anymore." his eyes seemed to be saying a lot more than his words.

"I guess I was being a little rash, I should probably tell them first." she said reasoned.

"So you still plan on leaving?" Dan asked, nudging her heel with the toe of his once-perfectly polished dress shoes.

"I can't stay here, there is just too much." she said, feeling defeated.

"I didn't think of you as a quitter." he replied.

"I am not quitting. I merely retreating and gathering my thoughts. This is why you should always have a good exit strategy." Blair said knowingly, looking up at him.

He just looked at her for a moment before handing her his money clip, "Here."

"What's this for?" Blair took it, confused.

"It's for you, so you can buy a ticket to LA or Houston or Bali or wherever you were planning on going." Dan replied matter-of-factly.

"As if I would ever-" Blair started to argue.

He put a hand up to silence her. "First you have to answer a question, honestly. Can you do that?"

"I suppose I can humor since you are paying, but make it fast, I think I am starting to get a rash from this bench." she answered, checking her arms for any redness or bumps.

He laughed before grabbing her hand to pull her to her feet. She noticed that he didn't drop his hand when he started talking.

"Will this make you happy? Will leaving behind New York, Columbia, your friends, Dorota, all of this," he motioned towards the skyline with his free hand. "will that make you happy? Will running away instead of facing your problems, really make them go away?"

"That was more than one question," when he just continued to stare at her, she continued "but how do I deal with all of it? How do I face all of that again? I just don't think I can."

"You can do anything you want, besides, you won't be alone," he squeezed her hand, "I made you a promise, and I plan on keeping it."

"Like that will make a difference, but I suppose if you are offering, it might not be completely horrible to have you on my side." she said slowly, as though weighing the options carefully.

"So does that mean you are coming home, or will I be receiving a letter from New Zealand in the next two to three weeks?" Dan asked, a 1000-watt smile, brightening his face.

She picked up the train to her dress and hooked her arm around his. "How did you find me anyway?"

"You're Blair Waldorf, I thought of the most dramatic scenario possible. Then when I got here, I saw heard some security guys talking about the rude girl in the big dress."

"Good work there Dick Tracy," she said agreeably

"Was that a compliment?" he asked, amused.

"Don't get used to it. I hope you know you're paying for the taxi ride home." she looked over at him, eyebrow arched.

"Already ahead of you, sister." he replied.

As they walked out the door, she saw a man hold open the door of towncar and beckon her forward.

"How did you know I would I want to come home." she asked sincerely when she realized that he had paid someone to wait out here for them

"Just call it the Humphrey charm." he snarked before getting into the car next her.

XoXoXoXoXo

That was how her fairytale had ended. She returned home, apologized to everyone, and then went to talk to Louis. They split amicably, deciding that maybe everything had just happened to quickly. It had been easy to get the marriage annulled and for them to move back to their regular lives. She read two weeks later that he had been seen around Paris with a new mystery woman, Blair laughed when she recognized the brunette in the paparazzi pictures. It was Celina, the wedding crasher.

Things had moved on to their normally scheduled plan. Her mother and Cyrus and Harold and Roman had all gone back to France. Dorota had unpacked all the honeymoon luggage, and Nate had invited her to get stoned with him and play some Wii, something she politely declined. Somethings never changed of course. Within a week Chuck was knocking on her door again, and a month later Serena has danced into her room, announcing that she and Dan had gotten together. Blair had initially recoiled at the news. There was something mean in Serena's voice in the way she talked about it, that confused Blair. Blair spoke hesitantly asking if she was sure this was such a good decision, and once again, Serena response had a tone of bitterness and victory. At the time, she really hadn't known what to make of it.

Of course she had found out later.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. This turned out being a lot longer than intended, but I am pretty sure there is only one more section after this. All mistakes are my own.

(A special thanks to my Chatzy friends. Thank you guys for listening to me take about this story non-stop the last couple of day!)

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><p>XoXoXo{<strong>Present Day<strong>}oXoXoX

Blair lay in bed, unwilling to start her day. The weirdness she felt from the earlier dream had faded a bit, but she was still feeling off. She was pretty sure it had something to do with empty wine bottle that was sitting on her bedside table. How had things gotten to the point that she was still in her pajamas and 10 a.m. with a massive hangover, after dreaming about- Now she remembered. This wasn't how things were supposed to go yesterday, hell, this isn't the things were supposed to go these last three months. She flung herself backwards, snuggled down under her sheets, and pulled her duvet over her head to block out the light. How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss.

XoXoXo{**February 2012**}oXoXoX

Blair checked the time as headed downstairs, and towards the elevator. She had ten minutes to meet Humphrey at the Met for their usual lunch and viewing. She grabbed her coat from the entry table and had almost made it to the door when Serena stopped her.

"Where are you going? Chuck's party is tonight, I thought we were going to go shopping together."

"We can when I get back, but I am already running late, and I need to go."

"Where? I am free right now. I could come" Serena offered genuinely.

Blair felt a pang of guilt. This was the first time in weeks that her best friend had really seemed interested in spending time with her. Things had been chilly between them since the wedding, for reasons the were unknown to Blair, but since Serena had gotten back with Dan, Blair had noticed that Serena was no longer just cold, she was also biting. Everytime the blonde returned home from the loft, she made a point of stopping in to tell Blair how she felt like she had finally found the right guy, and whenever the three of them were in a room together, Blair noticed how close Serena would stand to him, and she always had a possessive grip on his arm. The only time that Blair had really been able to talk to him in the last couple of weeks was when they had met up to go see various exhibits and movies.

"Well, if you must know," Blair's voice was soft, "I was about to meet Dan at the Met. Would you like to come?"

Blair noticed a sad look cross Serena's face. "What's wrong, S? If you don't want to go, I will call and cancel. He'll get over it. I mean-"

"No go B. You'll have fun, and you guys don't need me." Serena said with a small, sad smile.

Blair was completely confused. Serena had spent the last three weeks being a combination of angry and belligerent, and now here she was, looking like someone had just ruined her favorite Louboutins.

"S, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just trying to decide what to wear tonight."

Blair knew she was lying, but decided to drop it for now. "Well, I guess if you are sure you don't want to come, I need to get going then." she glanced down at her watch, "I am already going to be really late."

"Go, have fun. Tell Dan I said hi, and that I will see him tonight."

Blair nodded, waved, and started towards the elevator before turning back to Serena.

"S, if something is wrong, I'm here. I know things have been weird the last few weeks, and honestly, I don't know why, but I am always here." Blair offered a warm smile before noticing Serena's body language had changed part of the way through her words, and now the blonde's eyes had regained the icy look Blair was starting to know far too well.

"Can you really be that oblivious?" Serena snapped out before turning and heading up to her room.

Blair just stood near the elevator door, ignoring the bell announcing it's arrival. What had she done to make Serena so mad? She was tired of walking on eggshells. She knew she had done nothing wrong. She finally stepped into the small wooded elevator, and let the annoyance wash over her. If Serena wanted to be a bitch, fine, let her. Blair decided she was no longer going to go out of her way to appease Serena at every turn.

"What's wrong?" Dan asked as he set his cup back down, "Something has been distracting you all day."

They were sitting in small bistro eating lunch, after taking in the newest exhibits. _When she had arrived, he had been standing outside waiting for her. It was freezing, and he must have been out there for more than thirty minutes, judging my the redness of his face and ears._

_"Have you been here long?" she asked._

_"No, I just got here." he was lying, she knew it, but didn't care._

_"So you were just going to show up late and expect me to be ok with it?" she asked, more bite in her tone than she had anticipated._

_"You were late too. Actually, you were more late." he pointed out._

_"That's because I have more important things to do than schedule my entire day around going to a museum, with you of all people." she hadn't really realized how harsh her words and voice were until she noticed him flinch and look down at his feet._

_"You know, if you don't want to go-" he said quietly._

_"I'm here aren't I?" she said, softer this time and with a smile._

"Earth to Waldorf. You there?" his voice broke her concentration. He was always doing that.

"I was trying to decide why in the world you insisted on coming to a place known for it's pasta, and insist on ordering a sandwich."

"I like sandwiches. Not all of us can maintain a diet of chef's salad and yogurt." he snarked, stabbing one of her abandoned tomatoes and eating it. "Besides, I like the coffee here, and it was close."

"Eww! Have you no manners or self-respect? What if I wasn't done with that yet? Did you ever think about that before you commandeered one of my tomatoes?"

"Actually, I think your exact words were _this is disgusting, how can they expect me to eat this when the tomatoes are from a green house_. And then you shoved it away, which, conveniently, was right next to me."

"I may have said some" she noticed his raised eyebrows "or all of those words, but that doesn't mean it was ok for you to just take one without asking. It's rude, and it not to mention, how pedestrian it is to eat off of someone else's plate."

"Oh no, not _pedestrian_! Anyways, this brings me back to my original question. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." she waited a beat. "Why did you get back with Serena?"

"Uhh, this is really not a conversation I want to be having with you. So, if you would like, we can leave and go find some food that will better please you."

"No, we are going to stay here until you talk to me. I told you everything about Louis," she gulped. "and Chuck."

Shortly after the wedding, Chuck had come calling again. _He made sweet declarations of love and forever. At first, she had just ignored him, but one box of macaroons and three martinis later and she was, well, let's just say, old habit die hard. She had felt so gross and ashamed the next day. Serena had still been in her funk so she had gone to the loft. Humphrey had refrained from saying anything snide, a feat Blair had noticed was taking considerable will power. He had made a joke about feeling her sponsor, and she wondered if he realized how close to the truth he was._

_ Luckily, after that one-time return to darkness, she had been clean and clear of that Basshole for weeks now, and it felt good. She wanted to break free from him, but of course, he was like a shark, and could smell weakness from a mile away, and he knew every trick in the book to try to manipulate her. It had worked for the last time. She had finally been able to realize that the failure of their relationship was not a failure on her as a person, but just sometimes, things don't work out. It made her feel stronger than she had in months, maybe even years. Since then, she had gone back to Columbia, taken a full course load, and had been shopping around for new internship opportunities, Blair Waldorf was not one to do anything half-way. She was tired of letting her romantic decisions and non-decisions affect every aspect of her life. She would be a powerful woman, but this time, she would be one for herself and only herself._

"So, once again, I ask. Why did you and Serena get back together?" Blair demanded.

When Dan saw she wasn't going to back down, he shrugged and replied, "It was just something that happened I guess."

"You had sex with her. Is that what you mean?" she asked, deciding to pick at her salad a little more.

"What-huh? Why are we still talking about this? I don't this is appr-" he stumbled over his words, desperate to change the subject.

Blair enjoyed watching him squirm."So you didn't have sex with her?"

Dan looked at. She was staring at him, one eyebrow lifted, waiting for answer. She was not going to back down."Not as if it is any of your business, but no, we didn't. Ok?"

She nodded agreeably and took a drink of her coffee before asking"Have you at all since you guys got back together?"

"Oh my god, why are you asking me this?" he pleaded.

"I'll take that as a no. Wow, Humphrey, it has been a long time hasn't it? I mean I guess there was cousin Charlie, but we all know how that played out." she said nonchalantly, waving a hand around absently.

"Wait, how do _we _all know that?" Dan asked, unsure if he wanted to know the answer.

Blair cocked her head to the side and condescendingly state, "You told Nate," as though that explained everything.

The more Dan thought about his best male friend's complete inability to lie or keep a secret, he realize that really was all the explanation he needed. "Oh."

Blair, seeing that he understood, continued"So other than almost-mistake, you haven't really been with anyone since Vanessa. Was it that bad? Did you-"

He couldn't take anymore of this "Can we please stop talking about my sex-life?" he said loudly. Several patrons sitting near them, stopped to stare at him. His face was the same shade as his shirt.

"Alright Humphrey. All you had to do was ask, no reason to get so worked up and embarrass me."

"Embarass you, what about me?"

"Did you even look in the mirror today?" she asked, a hint of disgust audible in her voice.

He looked down at his red, flannel shirt. "What? It's cold and it's almost Valentine's Day. I thought it was appropriate."

"Trust me on this one Humphrey, that shirt will never be appropriate for anything." she looked it again and added. "ever."

He laughed casually, leaning back in his chair and taking another drink of his coffee.

"Oh, Serena told me to tell you hi."

That caused him to choke on his drink and cough.

Once she made sure he was not going to die, she said, annoyed, "Stop it Humphrey, you're making a scene...again."

"Sorry about that. I promise to never inconvenience you with my choking again. So, Serena knows you met up with me today, huh?"

"She caught me on the way out. I offered to have her to join, but she wasn't interested. I know, shocker right?"

"Yeah, shocker." he repeated, clearly uncomfortable.

"That reminds me, you never answered my question earlier."

"I think I answered plenty of your questions."

She ignored him. "Why did you get back with Serena?"

"Why do you care?"

This made her pause for a few moments before she replied, "I don't know," and she didn't know, but there was some weird, inexplicable part of her that needed to know the answer.

He saw that her face had softened and answered "It was easy. She wanted me, and I hadn't been wanted in a long time. I don't know, I guess I was just lonely. I mean this year has pretty much been the worst year of my life, so it was nice to fall back into something comfortable and known."

"Has your year really been that bad? Yeah, I know there was the fallout after the book and everything, but now, Nate and I are both speaking to you again, and you had your first book published and it was mildly successful for two minutes. You even are back with your dream girl."

She noticed his small laugh at that last part. He looked down at the table, and said quietly, "Yeah, well, maybe not everything is as it seems."

She wanted to say something biting about him using her best friend as comfort, but she thought back to her tryst with Chuck and simply replied, "Yeah."

They both sat there, quietly staring at their own cups, while traffic moved past. A distant alarm broke the silence. Blair looked down at her watch, "Oh god. I've got to go. It's getting really late, and I haven't even bought a dress for Chuck's party tonight."

"Oh yeah, that's tonight isn't it? I guess I need to go get ready too." He made a few motions of primping himself before standing to leave. "Thanks for the afternoon, Waldorf." He nodded at her and left before she could think of a reply.

Blair was putting the final touches on her makeup, when Serena walked into the shared bathroom. They still hadn't spoken since this morning, but Blair had no intention of being the first to break the silence. They stood there in silence, side by side, for a few more minutes before Serena turned to Blair.

"I'm sorry, B. I know I have been difficult to deal with lately, and I have been taking everything out on you."

Blair turned to see her best friend looking at her guiltily. She leaned and hugged the blonde. "I love you, S, just tell me what's bothering you."

"Dan and I broke up."

"Oh." Blair knew this wasn't the right response, but a weird tightening sensation made it hard for to think at the moment. "When?"

Serena returned to doing her makeup,"Yesterday."

"Why?" Blair asked, thinking that this didn't explain Serena's attitude over the last few weeks, but it did explain part of his behavior during lunch.

"He and I weren't really looking for the same things," Serena said cryptically.

Blair could tell Serena was hiding something, but she decided to not push it. "Well, maybe we can both find our Valentines at the party," Blair said, chipperly, before prancing off to her bedroom to get dressed.

She had barely caught Serena's "Maybe,"on her way out.

The party was exactly what anyone would expect from a Chuck Bass sponsored event: crowded, decadent, and hedonistic. Blair and Serena got separated within moments of entering. Blair walked the perimeter of the room, taking everything in. There was red and silver everywhere. Every flat surface had sort of candle or rose decoration. The servers were carrying trays filled with various aphrodisiacs, oysters, champagne, and of course, strawberries. There were several tall chocolate fountains, inviting guess to dip their strawberries. Blair had a feeling once the alcohol began to sink in, a lot more than fruit was going to be covered in chocolate, and then shivered at the unsanitary thought. She had finished her second glass of champagne when she felt a familiar presence over her left shoulder.

"Well, hello Blair. It's nice to see you, though I am not surprised. You aren't one for passing up debauchery and scandal," he whispered into her ear as he ran his hand up her arm.

His touch made her feel ill. She spun around and pointed a finger at him, "I don't want you. It's over. There aren't enough chocolate fountains in the world to coat what you did to me, over and over. I am only here because all of my friends are here. This is not some subtle sign about how much I secretly want to be with you. I am not stupid. You think I don't know that you were hoping you could get me drunk, so you could try play mind games with again that end with me crawling back?"

"You wouldn't have to crawl, you could just lay there if you wanted," he replied, pulling her close enough to feel his breath on her neck.

She pushed him back. "Ugh, you disgust me," she said through clenched teeth and strode away from him and straight to the bar. She ordered a martini, finished it in two drinks, and ordered another. It was going to take a lot more the champagne to wash away the thoughts Chuck had implanted in her head. She heard another attendant order a whiskey and looked over to see Humphrey, sitting alone, looking horrible.

She walked over to him "So, I heard you and Serena broke up."

He looked over at her for a moment before downing his glass, "Nice to see you too Blair."

"Why did you come if you planned on being a loner?" she asked.

"Where else was I going to go?" he asked, looking around before continuing "And the liquor is being for by Chuck."

"Can't argue with that." she agreed amicably.

"Why are you sitting at the bar instead of mingling or whatever it is you do at these things." he asked after he motioned the bartender to refill his glass.

"I just had run in with Chuck, and I am hoping if I drink enough, it will kill enough brain cells and mess with my short term memory." she made an ugly face.

"You know it doesn't work like that, right?" he asked with a smile.

"Shut up, Humphrey and drink. You're coming with me." she finished her third martini, grabbed his hand and pulled him to the dance floor.

"What are we doing?" he asked bemusedly.

"We are forgetting our problems for a little bit." she answered and grabbed two glasses of champagne off a nearby tray and handed one to him.

He took it and laughed "Sounds good to me."

They had danced and drank and drank and danced. Things started to get hazy in her memory after fifth glass of champagne. She remembered that Dan had suggested they go get some of the strawberries and chocolate, and she had argued, but after stepped on her toe for the third time, she agreed that it dirty strawberries and chocolate were probably still safer than dancing with Dan Humphrey. The both grabbed two off of passing tray and headed to the nearest chocolate fountain, the one in a corner near the front entrance.

She remembered those last moments so well. They were crowded next to each other, fighting for access to the chocolate. She was laughing and he was smiling. Then it changed. A rowdy socialite bumped into Blair as she was about eat one of her strawberries, causing smear chocolate all over her chin. She let out a small squeal and that's when Dan had looked over and laughed.

"It's not funny." she threatened.

"Yes it is." he replied, still laughing.

"I have chocolate all over my face!" she whined

"That's what makes it funny." he explained.

"This is all your fault." She reached over to fountain, and coated her hand in chocolate, much to the distaste of the other party-goers. She then turned and wiped her hand across Dan's shocked face.

"There you go. That about settles it." She said through a smile.

She didn't know how long they stood standing there, and she still doesn't know who made the first move, not that it matters. All she remembers is that they went from laughing and playing, to frantically kissing, that she had him shoved against a wall and he had his hands on her hips, pulling her closer, and she's pretty sure she was the one who suggested they go to the loft.

The next morning she woke up to the sound of their cell phones buzzing. Blair, still not fully aware of her surroundings, reached out until she grabbed a phone, and saw it was a Gossip Girl blast. She opened and saw picture of her and Dan, covered in chocolate, smashed against a side wall in the Empire and touching each other in places made her blush. The realization of what had happened set in. She was in Dan Humphrey's bed, naked, holding Dan Humphrey's phone that contained a compromising picture of them, and laying next to her, also wearing nothing more than the residue of last night's ill-fated chocolate fight, was none other than Dan Humphrey.

"O.M.G." Blair quietly screamed before she dropped the phone, crawled out of bed, and scurried around the room gathering her clothes.

She had managed to get dressed and out of loft without Dan waking up, and she was about five feet from her bedroom door when she heard Serena call for her.

XoXoXo{**Present Day**}oXoXoX

Blair called for Dorota to bring her some water and Advil. All these memories had given her made her headache worse. She wished she could put all of it out of her mind, the blowout with Serena:_ How could you do this to me B? He's not your boyfriends anymore, S!,_ the lude remarks from Chuck: _I see you're slumming it now. I knew you were easy, I didn't know you were also cheap., _and most all the way she treated Dan: _It meant nothing! Like I would ever choose to be with you if I were sober, _especially the way she treated Dan.

She had lashed out because she was scared and confused, but that was only an excuse, not a justification. If only he had told her how felt _he wrote you a book about his feelings_, or if he had been honest about that first kiss _you lied first,_ then maybe none of this would have happened.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you everyone who has been reading it. I am glad you have enjoyed. This is the final part. I hope you enjoy. As usual all editing errors are all mine.

* * *

><p>XoXoXo{<strong>May 2012-Present Day}<strong>oXoXoX

Blair finally decided to get out of bed and get dressed. She had finished her art history essay yesterday, before, and Lily's party had been pushed back a week, so she had no place she needed to be, but her headache had subsided, and she really didn't want to spend another week in bed. She had picked out her outfit and was deciding on shoes, when she was startled by sounds coming from the bathroom. It took her a few moments to realize it was Serena. She had moved back into the penthouse about a month ago, but Blair hadn't readjusted to Serena's habits and noise level. Blair set on the bench at foot of her bed weighing the options: she could sneak out and not have to talk to Serena about last night or she could be the mature, responsible adult she was trying so hard to be, and tell Serena, her best friend, about the disaster of the previous night.

She settled on the first option, but before she could make it out of her bedroom door and into the safety of the hallway, Serena peeked into the room from their conjoined bathroom.

"Hey, Blair. You're home!" Serena smiled, and stepped fully into the room.

"Have you tried knocking?" Blair asked, hoping her annoyance masked her guilt.

Serena shrugged, "I didn't think you'd be here, so I was going to borrow a necklace."

"Why wouldn't I be here? I live here." Blair remarked, not feeling as thorny as she pretended to be.

"It's just, I thought that when I took you to Brooklyn yesterday, you wouldn't be back so early."

"Well, you thought wrong." Blair snapped.

Serena motioned to the empty wine bottle, "B, what happened?"

That was what Blair wanted to know too.

XoXoXo{**April 2011**}oXoXoX

"One kiss and that's that," he waited. "So?" He is slight discomfort made her feel more comfortable. Dan had strode in, seemingly full of confidence, but now, as they stood looking at each other's _mouths_ faces, she saw that he was slight unsure of what to do next. He wasn't Chuck who acted like Blair's body was his right, and he wasn't Nate who was always distracted. Dan was different. He was staring at her, only her, but his eyes weren't greedy, just hopeful and slightly confused.

"So." What was he waiting for. If he didn't get this over with soon, she was going to scream. _You know what, I'm tired of waiting _ "For crying out loud Humphrey."

She was kissing him. She moved closer and wrapped her arm around his neck. Lonely Boy was kissing Queen B. She felt a hand move to her waist and start gripping the thin fabric covering her lingerie. Blair Cornelia Waldorf was kissing Dan "Cabbage Patch" Humphrey. He tentatively deepened the kiss, and when she offered little resistance, she felt him fully commit. His hands were tangling in her hair, and her hands were moving back to his lapels, preparing to remove the excess article of clothing. Blair and Dan were kissing. Serena's best friend Blair and Serena's first love Dan were kissing. The reality of the last thought slapped her, and she pulled back. She just there for another moment, before turning, and walking up the stairs. He was smart enough, he could see himself out.

XoXoXo{**April 2012**}oXoXoX

Blair had four books spread out in front of her, studying for an upcoming exam when Serena entered the room. The sight of the leggy, blonde startled and confused Blair. She and Serena hadn't spoken in weeks, since the day Serena called Blair so many things: _deceitful, manipulative, delusional, selfish _and Blair had returned the unkindness: _fickle, egotistical, ignorant, ridiculous_. Blair had returned home the following day to find Serena's room empty.

_That was the day she went to Brooklyn to tell Dan every lie she could think of. This is your fault. It was a mistake. It meant nothing. I have nothing because of you. 'The thought of being with you like that again, disgusts me. Don't ever try to contact me again.' She remembered the look on his face as she had thrown insult -lie- after insult -lie- at him. His eyes were big, begging for her forgiveness, his mouth slightly open with shock. There was once a time that hurting him would have given her pleasure, but not all she felt was regret and emptiness. _

_Of course, he had tried. He had called seventeen times before she had made it back to her room, and another 45 before she called Rufus and threatened to press charges if Dan didn't stop harassing her. _

_Serena never called._

Blair continued to stare at the unexpected guest until Serena broke the silence. "Hey B. I was wondering if we could talk."

"Sure S." Blair said hesitantly. "Come in." She cleared off the bed, making room for Serena.

Serena smiled and moved closer. "I'm sorry."

Blair sat quietly before beginning to softly cry, "I'm so sorry, S. It was a mistake. I shouldn't have-"

Serena pulled the small, crying girl closer, and hugged her. "Shh, it's ok Blair. I shouldn't have blown up at you like I did. I never let you even try to explain."

Blair pulled back and wiped at her eyes. "Not that I could. There was no excuse for what we- what I did, S."

Serena bit her bottom lip, obviously struggling with a decision. She let out a small sigh before grabbing Blair's hand and saying, "I can only guess why you did, but I think I know why Dan did."

Blair flinched at mention of his name.

Serena noticed and asked, "Did you ever find out we broke up."

Blair moved her shoulder and answered, "You said you guys were looking for different things."

"And he never talked to you about it?"

Blair flushed, "We never really got a chance to."

Serena nodded, as if she had already figured much out. "I broke up with him because he wasn't in love with me."

Blair actually let out a small laugh, "Are you joking? S, you're his dream girl, his muse."

"Seriously, Blair? I love you, but are you really that delusional?"

Her best friend's tone annoyed Blair, "What are you talking about Serena? If you just came here to insult me, it really wasn't necessary. I think I got enough that the last time."

"You haven't read _Inside_ yet, have you?" Serena questioned, already knowing the answer.

"You mean the book that almost destroyed my engagement, made Nate into nothing of a person, and called Rufus a glorified butler, which at least is mostly true." Blair asked, and then finished "No, I haven't read more than just _the _scene," she blushed again.

"Well, I think you should. I really shouldn't be talking about this stuff, it's really not any of my business." Serena urged before asking, "Are you hungry?"

"Absolutely famished." Blair said dramatically, holding a hand up to her head.

They laughed and made plans to for lunch. They talked and smile and worked on bridging the rift that had developed between them. That night Blair asked Serena to move back in. The following day, when Blair returned home from an afternoon class, she noticed boxes filled Serena's bedroom. Blair walked into her own room, happy to have her best friend back at her side. She noticed a small gift, with a note, laying on her bed. She read the the note first.

_B, you really need to read this. I won't bother you again about it, but trust me. Read it, and know, no matter what, I love you. -S_

Blair opened the package, not surprised to find a copy of _Inside_ wrapped in pink tissue paper. She tossed it aside, and went about doing her daily after class tasks of re-writing her notes into perfectly organized outlines, complete with personal notes about likely exam questions. Every time she thought about the unread novel, she made herself busy some other task, working on a new resume, looking through a course catalog, brushing her teeth. She managed to ignore the book for a entire month.

XoXoXo{**May 2012-Yesterday**}oXoXoX

The breaking point had been running into Dan at the Van der Humphrey penthouse. Blair had gone there to meet up with Serena, who had assured her Dan was not there. Of course the moment, Blair walked out of the elevator and into the main living space, she realized that either Serena had been completely mistaken or she lied, Blair was placing bets on the latter. She was hoping she could make it back to the elevator before he noticed her presence. She had barely got turned around before she her name being called.

"Blair. What are you doing here?"

She sighed and turned forward again, "I'm just meeting Serena here. She wanted to visit Lily before we went shopping."

"Oh."

Blair didn't how long they stayed in the same position. The long silence was broken by them both talking at the same time.

"Well I should go look for Serena to let her know I am here."

"Blair, I'm sorry."

They resumed their earlier silence, which was only broken this time by Lily coming down the stairs, smiling and holding her hands out to Blair.

"Blair darling, good to see you. It's been so long since I've seen you. What brings you by?"

"Hi Lily. Uh- I was meeting Serena here."

"Serena? She stopped by earlier, but left a little bit ago."

"Oh, I must have misunderstood." Blair replied, plastering a fake smile on her face.

"I am so glad you two are getting along again. I hate seeing you two fighting. Whatever happened in the first place? Serena always avoided talking about it."

Blair glanced at Dan, who was trying to pretend he was listening to conversation, before replying, "I made a really bad decision, and it took Serena some time to forgive me, but we were able to eventually able to work through things." Blair glanced down at her watch and spoke is a rushed tone "Well, seeing as though I have already missed Serena once, I better be going. Good to see you Lily." she turned in a hurry and walked to the elevator. She heard Lily say her farewells before heading back upstairs. She also heard someone else moving in her direction. She repeatedly jabbed at the button and hoped that she could make the elevator arrive by just wishing it so.

"Blair, please wait." she refused to look anywhere, but directly in front of her.

He moved closer and touched her arm, "Blair please listen. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I caused problems between you and Serena. I'm sorry that we aren't friends anymore. I just want you to know-"

The elevator door opened, and Blair sent out a quick prayer for the elevator timing and a quick curse for Serena.

When she arrived back at home, she went immediately to Serena's room and found the blonde casually laying on the bed, flipping through an old issue of Vogue. She looked up at Blair and smiled. "Oh, I was supposed to meet you at my mom's wasn't I? I forgot. Sorry B."

Blair just stared at her friend and made plans to shave all the beautiful blonde hair off once Serena went to bed. When she realized Serena wasn't going to say anymore, Blair turned on her heels and went into her room. She tossed her purse and shopping bags, retail therapy was always the best help for a foul mood, on the bed and sat down at her desk. She finished an art history paper that was due later in the week, and started putting away her books, when she saw _it _staring at her. Six-letters in a simple, white font: _Inside._

_Ok, fine, I will just read a chapter or two, so Serena will leave me alone._

Three hours later and thirty two chapters, Blair was knocking on Serena's door. Serena welcomed her. Blair knew her face betrayed everything.

"So you read it."

"Yes."

"And?"

"I don't understand."

"What's not to understand? Blair, Dan wrote you a book."

"But why? Why did he keep telling me it meant nothing?"

"That's not my question to answer."

"I think I need to go to Brooklyn."

"I think you do."

Serena rode with Blair on the way over, and when they arrived at oh-so familiar building, Serena gave Blair a hug and told her to go.

"Why are you doing this, S?"

"Penance." when Blair just stared, confused, Serena continued, "I knew how he felt. I've known for almost a year, and it hurt me. It hurt me because I saw him look at you in a way that he never looked at me. It hurt me because it made me feel like what he and I once had, was no longer special. I saw you guys spending time together, enjoying things without me. I felt like I was no longer needed in either of your lives. The more I saw him falling for you, the more I wanted him for myself," Blair noticed Serena's face was a mixture of shame and sorrow. "When we got together, I was convinced that I could make him love me again, but when I saw I couldn't mad at you. You were the one who had something I wanted."

"But he wasn't mine. I never had him."

"You've had him since that kiss last April, maybe even before."

"S, I'm-"

"Don't worry about it, B," Serena then smiled and playfully pushed Blair out of the taxi, "GO!"

Blair walked up the stairs and towards the door that, so many times, had been the gateway to her safe haven. She knocked on the twice, and waited. When Dan opened the door, she pushed past him and turned around to face him.

"You lied to me."

"Good to see you to Blair, thanks for the visit." he deadpanned.

"You said the kiss meant nothing to you. Why?"

He looked at her and quietly answered, "You said it first. I was just following your lead."

She couldn't argue with that. How could she have expected the truth, when she had lied first.

"I read your book."

"Oh."

They repeated the mornings events. Both just stood and waited. Blair had so many thoughts and feelings that she couldn't express. All she knew was that she wanted him. Things went hazy after that. He was carrying her towards the couch, legs wrapped around his waist, and she was busy trying unbutton his shirt. She quickly got annoyed, and pulled at the thing until the buttons either gave way or broke off.

"Hey, I like this shirt." he said between kisses, as he lay her down on the blue settee.

"Don't wear so many buttons next time," she worked on removing her own shirt.

"Next time?" he asked biting at her ear before kissing her delicate shoulders and collarbones.

"Only if you shut up and kiss me," and moved her hands to his waistband.

A cramp in her shoulder, woke Blair up. She looked over and saw that they were sprawled in the floor, clothes and pillows strewn haphazardly about the room. She rolled over and gathered her clothes, and walked back through the door, that only a few hours before, she had entered through.

XoXoXo{**May 2012-Present Day**}oXoXoX

Blair looked over at Serena for a response. She had just finished recounting the previous nights events, obviously leaving out some of the more ahem, vivid details, and she was worried about what her best friend's response was going to be.

"You just left him there?" Serena looked shocked. "Again?"

Blair looked down at her hands.

"Blair, what happened?"

"I don't know S. I just panicked. I woke up and I realized if I was there when he woke up, then it would all be real."

"What's wrong with that?"

"This isn't the plan. I can't be with Dan Humphrey."

"Why not? I thought you over fairytale dreams." Serena asked, not bothering to mask the disapproval in her voice.

"Because he's my friend. Because we have the same hobbies. Because we have similar life goals."

"Oh, how could I have been so blind. Now I totally can see why you would have run away from him."

"You don't get it, S. Nate was the all-American, perfect life. Chuck was the epic romance. Louis was the fairytale. Dan is just Dan. Plain, sensible Dan Humphrey."

"Nate cheated on you and then used you for familial benefit. Chuck treated you like property, and Louis, well I don't think we have to discuss how that ended. B, maybe you should stop trying to make your life fit a movie. Maybe it's time you tried a different script." Serena beamed, obviously pleased with her metaphor.

Blair was about to respond when an alarm interrupted her. They both looked at their cellphones to see a Gossip Girl blast. It was a picture of Dan walking through the Jet Blue terminal at JFK.

_Looks like Lonely Boy is preparing to flee. I guess things with our Queen B, didn't go as planned. Goodbye UES, hello cruel world._

Blair felt Serena's gaze. "Well, I guess it's too late now."

Serena sat for a moment before grabbing Blair's hand and pulling her out of the room.

"What are you doing Serena?"

"Maybe you can have your movie romance after all."

"What are you talking about, and why you pushing me down the stairs?"

"All those movies you watched with Dan, and you never saw an airport scene?"

"Those don't happen in real life."

"Well, it's your turn to make it happen." Serena handed Blair her purse and coat and shoved her towards the elevator. "Go"

"Oh god." Blair said finally realizing what was going on.

"Yes!" Serena exclaimed.

"I've got to go." Blair said, hurriedly willing the elevator to arrive.

As soon as it dinged, Serena repeated"Yes!" and shoved Blair in.

She was out throwing cash at the drivers head and opening the door before the car fully came to stop and ran inside. She ignored the shocked gasps and annoyed mumbles as she shoved past a group of middle-aged tourists wearing tacky "I Love New York" shirts, hats, and pins to check the boarding times. Glancing down at her watch and noting the time, she felt her heart beat a little faster.

Seven minutes. She had seven minutes to get through line, buy a ticket, and make it to the gate. Seven minutes is all she needed. She grabbed her wallet out of her purse, and walked directly up to the counter, ignoring everyone who had been waiting in line. When the angry whispers started to gain volume and vitriol, she took out the wad of cash she had grabbed just for this scenario. When all else fails, bribe the masses. As the voices died back down to a muted hum, she returned all her attention to the lady behind the ticket counter.

"I'm sorry Miss, that flight is fully booked. We have another leaving at approximately 8 p.m. Would you be interested in that?"

"Yes, sure. I don't care. What part of 'give me a ticket, any ticket' don't you understand?"

"I'm sorry, it's a first-class ticket. If you are needing a more affordable option, I would suggest-"

"Does it look like I need an affordable option? Just give me the damn ticket, so I can get to the gate."

"No need to get hostile, Miss. Now I will just need so id."

She slammed her passport, school id card, a birth certificate, and a picture she had ripped out of an old Constance Billard yearbook. "Is that enough id? I need that ticket, now!"

"Rudeness is not a virtue, Miss."

Noting the golden name badge, she replied, "Randy is it? Yes, well your attitude leaves a lot to be desired. I am sure your bosses will be interested in hearing about how you verbally assaulted a young girl, who was trying to fly on this company's superior airline. Now if you could just-"

"Yes, yes Miss. As you wish."

When the transaction had been concluded, and the ticket in her hand, she patted the worried salesman's arm. "Seeing as though our business has been concluded in a somewhat acceptable manner, I feel there is no reason to contact management, but next time, Randy, play nice and do what the young lady with a pile of cash wants of you to do."

"Yes, Miss. Of course Miss. Thank you so much."

"One last thing, can you point me in the direction for gate number 9?"

"But Miss you flight leaves out of number 17-" he felt her icy glare boring holes into his forehead, "Right, of course." He gave her quick directions to her desired gate, followed by a quick swipe of the forehead to ensure there were no actual injuries.

She nodded before turning, and running in the direction she had been pointed. She looked down at her watch. The whole ordeal at the ticket counter had taken too long. She had less than two minutes to. She felt every second tick by as she made her way down the long hallway, bypassing the moving sidewalk and escalator, so she could continue running.

"At least I'm not in a wedding dress this time," she thought to herself as she launched herself down the last three steps of the staircase she was on, and start looking at the gate numbers.

For the second time in less than a year, Blair Cornelia Waldorf was running through John F. Kennedy airport be stared at by other travelers and airport employees. The same airport, the same terminal, the same players, but this time the roles were reversed. She heard the loud clock announcing the new hour. She was late, but she knew there was a chance she could still make it.

"It's a commercial flight. It's probably delayed, and full of sick elderly and screaming children who are slowing down the boarding. That's what happens when you don't charter a private plane," she told herself as she saw the sign for number 9 in the distance.

She slowed down as she grew closer and began to think of what she was going to say. She was currently torn between and apology and a slap. She started to look around for his curly mop hair, and realized that the gate was empty. She stopped an employee to ask about the flight, and was informed that the plane was currently taxing towards the runway.

She had missed him. If only the driver had listened to advice on how to traffic, if only those stupid people had moved out of her way faster, seriously, who doesn't move when they see a frantic, well-dressed woman, running through and airport. She decided that Randy's supervisor would be hearing from her after all.

If she had just not been so blind.

"What are you doing here?" a deep voice asked.

She turned and saw Dan sitting on a bench, drinking a bottle of water. She couldn't make her body move. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be on a plane right now?"

"I asked you first."

"I'm here for you."

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

"Well, that's good," he stood and moved towards her.

"What? Why is that good? Is that only response I get? You wouldn't believe-"

He pulled her to him and into a deep kiss. Once she was satisfactorily quieted, he replied "That's good because I love you too."

They turned and headed back towards the door.

"Why didn't you go?" She asked.

"I decided I wanted to be nearby if you ever changed your mind." he answered honestly, and then asked "How'd you know I'd be here?"

"I thought of the most cliché thing I could think of," she answered, and then added, "Also, it was on Gossip Girl."

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><p>Sometimes, in real life, there are happy endings.<p> 


	4. Alternate Ending

Ok, I know I said I was done with this story, but I lied. I decided I wanted to do an alternate ending. I hope you like it. As usual, all mistakes are my own. :D

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><p>"It's a commercial flight. It's probably delayed, and full of sick elderly and screaming children who are slowing down the boarding. That's what happens when you don't charter a private plane," she told herself as she saw the sign for number 9 in the distance.<p>

She slowed down as she grew closer and began to think of what she was going to say. She was currently torn between and apology and a slap. She started to look around for his curly mop hair, and realized that the gate was empty. She stopped an employee an asked about the flight, and was informed that the plane was currently taxing towards the runway.

XoXoXo{**February 2015**}oXoXoX

Blair pulled her coat tighter as she made her way through the crowds towards the corner. The wind was biting and the newly fallen snow forced the constant flow of foot traffic to stay closer together as to avoid getting splashed with sludge by the passing cars and buses. Despite the circumstances, Blair was perfectly content. She had been to countless Fashion Weeks over the years, but this was the first time she had been able to attend on behalf of her job. Her boss Raiza had taken notice of her devotion and dedication to the magazine, and had agreed to send her out on a preliminary assignment. Sure, it wasn't Paris, Milan, or even New York, but London Fashion Week was still a major event and well respected within the industry, and beyond all that, Blair was finally getting the recognition she needed to help propel her career forward. She was, afterall, a dictator of taste.

She decided to step into a small cafe to order a coffee and warm up a bit. She got her her drink and went to set at a small table near the window. The cars, the people everything was so similar to New York, but it was also so different. She sat there thinking about so many important past events and future possibilities. Her gazing eyes were drawn to walking figure. Curly hair and sharp cheekbones peeked over the top of a dark woolen coat and an ugly scarf. She sat there, shocked and staring. The walking man turned and looked directly at her. There was no mistaking what she saw. The dark eyes, the dimpled nose, the full lips, it was _his_ face. Their eyes locked before he turned his head back to the front, and continued on his way. _He had to have seen me. He looked right at me._

Blair flew from her seating and raced towards the door, upsetting the paper cup and spilling coffee on herself in the process. As she quickly exited the door, she began looking for him in the sea of people. She spotted him waiting at the corner to cross the street, and began trying to push through the immovable crowd while calling his name. The group at the corner began to cross, and Blair struggled harder to try to reach him. She finally reached the crosswalk as the traffic began to flow again. She called out his name one last time, annoying several people who standing nearby. Either he didn't hear or he did and hadn't cared. She watched him for a final moment before he blended back into the crowd and became nothing more than just part of the scenery.

She made her way back to the cafe to retrieve her coat and order a new coffee. As she neared, she noticed the large window she had seen him through was mirrored on the outside. He hadn't been able to see her after all. She walked inside, ordered another drink to replace the one she was now wearing, and pulled her phone out of her pocket. She scrolled through the contact list before settling on Lily's number. She or Rufus would be able to tell her where Dan was staying. Her internal debate was interrupted by an incoming call.

"Hello, this is Blair Waldorf."

"I know who you are Blair. What I need to know is where you are! Raiza has called nine times to check on your whereabouts." It was her Fashion Week contact, Oceane.

"Sorry, Oce, I got distracted. I'm on my way." She ended the call and looked back at Lily's contact information. She let out a small sigh, nodded sadly, and put the phone back in her purse. Sometimes, things just weren't be.

"Maybe in another life," she mumbled to herself as she gathered her things and walked out.


	5. Dan's PoV: Post Valentine's Day

Yep, not done yet. So, after talking to a couple of people, I decided to add a chapter or three highlighting Dan's point of view. I don't know if this even works or not. There will probably be one or two more smaller following this one, so feedback would be greatly appreciated, so I know whether to continue or to turn my efforts to something else. Thank you so much everyone who has read and reviewed so far. It is so greatly appreciated!

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><p><em>XoXoXo{<strong>February 2011<strong>}oXoXoX_

He put his pen down, and looked back over what he had written. Shit. It was all shit. He had written anything worthwhile in months, and over the last few days, his writing had made it's final downward spiral into complete garbage. It was all variations on a theme-an upper class princess scorning a nice playwright/painter/musician before having her heart ripped out by a slimy nouveau riche, sometimes this was literal, depending on his mood. He even had tried his hand at poetry, but there only so many times you can search for rhymes for words such as bitch and hate before growing bored. Maybe that was part of the problem, he didn't hate her. If he had, then it would be so much easier.

He wasn't even frustrated in the way he grown to be with Vanessa and Serena, because he knew what loving Blair Waldorf entailed. Really, it was his fault. He knew who she was. He knew that the moment things began to mess with the plans she laid, she pulled back and fought. He knew she used sharp barbs and cutting insults to protect her heart; a heart that had been abused, played with, and broken so many times. He knew he would never do that to her, but she didn't. It was his fault; he had allowed himself to hope.

Somewhere between their discussions over modern art and the night she screamed his name in pleasure, he had hoped. Hoped that maybe he wasn't alone in this. Hoped that her heartbeat quickened when she saw him, that electricity pulsed through her body every time they touched, that the best parts of her day, were the moments they argued over the merits of various, long dead directors. He had stupidly allowed himself to think that maybe, just maybe, she had felt the same way as him. His mistake.

He heard a loud knock on the loft door and groaned. The only person he wanted to see and didn't want to see, wouldn't knock. She would just barge in. Anyone else was just an annoyance. He decided to just stay quiet, maybe they think him asleep and go away. He waited. Nate's voice broke the silence.

"Dude, come on. Open the door. I know you are in there. You haven't left in over a week."

Dan stayed silent, hoping his sleep ploy would work.

The loud door creaked open, dashing his pathetic hopes. He stood up and walked into the living room and began trying to get the golden boy to leave.

"You know, usually when someone doesn't answer the door, they don't want company."

"Well, too bad. What have you been doing? Why does this place look a garbage can, and why does your hair look like it has bird's living in it?"

"What if I had been sleeping? Or naked?" He knew his logic was weak, but he wasn't going to give that easily.

"It's like 5 pm and Tuesday."

"So?" He sounded petulant, but he really didn't care.

"Come on, talk to me. What's going on? No one has heard from you since that blast went out."

"No one has talked to me since then." Except his dad, to tell him to stop trying to get a hold of her. Of course it was her fault. It was always her fault.

"What do you think I am trying to do right now." Nate reasoned.

"I don't know what you are trying to do. I don't even know why you are here."

"I am trying to keep one of my best friends from becoming a crazy hermit, like that guy in that Leo DiCaprio movie."

"Howard Hughes?" Dan asked.

"I guess. Whatever. The point is, you need to leave this place." Nate answered, looking around the usually tidy loft. Beer bottles tossed haphazardly on the floor, two empty Jameson 1840 bottles and half a dozen tumblers were topping the coffee table, and loose papers full of Dan's tiny handwriting were covering all remaining flat surfaces. He then returned his eyes to his shaggy friend. "First, I think you might want to shower and shave."

"I really am not in the mood to go anywhere."

"I figured you might say that. So," Nate pulled a large glass bottle out of his coat pocket, "I brought some entertainment and good company."

"Good company? When do they arrive?" Dan said, a faint smile crossing his lips.

"Hey, be nice, or I am leaving and taking the alcohol with me."

Dan laughed, he had to admit it felt good.

"I guess I can reschedule my nightly self-loathing."

"That's the spirit," Nate said jovially and clapped a hand on Dan's back. "But first, dude, you need to shower.

Dan pursed his lips before responding "Fine, but don't expect me to shave."

Nate just laughed and shoved Dan towards the bathroom door.

After he had showered and changed into clean clothes, he begrudgingly admitted to himself, he wouldn't give Nate the satisfaction, that he did feel better. He stepped out of the small bathroom and into the now clean loft. He looked around and smiled, maybe he wasn't alone after all. His smile faltered when he saw Nate. The blonde boy was sitting on the blue couch, _so many memories_, a stack of papers sitting on the newly clear table in front of him, and a sheet in his hand, _why did everyone find it necessary to keep reading his things._

"What are you doing?" Dan ask, his voice dangerously calm.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I asked, what. are. you. doing." every word staccato and thick with annoyance.

"I saw the blast and I knew Serena was angry, but I just thought it was drunk make-out session. I mean I've had enough of those myself, several that night actually."

"You need to leave. If you can't respect-"

"You should have told me."

Dan sighed, too tired to be angry. He rubbed a hand through his wet curls, and went sat down on a bar stool,_ her favorite, _and shrugged. "What was there to tell?"

"Oh, I don't know, how about the fact that you are in love with Blair Waldorf?"

Dan tilted his head to the side and stared at a random scuff on the floor. Even her name hurt.

"Oh, hey sorry. I just meant, you should have told me. I've been there. I know how it feels."

"Really, Nate Archibald has had females not return his affection? The man bangs alone make me doubt that." Dan said, standing up and heading to the refrigerator to retrieve two chilled beers.

Nate laughed and took the beer Dan offered him. "Ok, it's not something that happens often, but yeah, definitely been there, felt that."

Dan continued to stare at his friend, eyebrows raised, questioningly.

Nate sighed. "Serena."

"Oh." Dan answered, hoping that was an adequate response. After a moment, he decided it probably was.

"When she came back, all I could think about was wanting to be with her. I didn't want to hurt Blair," Dan flinched at the name and hoped Nate didn't notice, "but every time I saw Serena, I just felt like I was supposed to be with her instead of well, you." Nate finished with a small laugh.

Dan smirked, "Sorry about that." He went to sit closer to his friend. He continued seriously, "How did you make it go away? That pain, that hurt. How did you move past it?"

"I didn't."

They set in silence, sharing a moment heavy with heartbreak.

"I know what we need." Nate stood up and moved over to the counter to pour them each a shot of the Grey Goose he had brought.

Three beers and two shots later, the pair lounged comfortably in chairs, watching one of the trashy teen movies Jenny had left behind.

"You know, I think I hate Freddie Prinze Jr." Dan said in the middle of a weird choreographed, prom dance scene. He had crossed fully into buzzed territory, and was quickly making his way to drunkville.

"Why? He's a nice guy. Look at that face-full of regret for his bad choices."

"He has an easy life. He is the most popular guy at school, he got into an amazing school, and all he had to do, was not be a self-absorbed asshole, and tell the hot girl who he likes, and, more importantly, likes him, the truth. All he does is whine about his horrible lot in life, and blame every one around him for his stupidity. He's insufferable." He answered, voice full of self-righteousness that had been absent for several years.

"Wow, there is the Humphrey I know and love."

Dan threw some popcorn at his friend. "How did my life get to this point? I was supposed to go get through St. Jude's unnoticed and unscathed, go to Yale, and become the next Jeremiah Harris. Instead, I am author of a mediocre book that all of my friends hate, stepson of Lily van der Woodsen Bass Humphrey, and sitting here, watching _She's All That _with Nate "Golden Boy" Archibald."

"Hey, I think I am supposed to be offended by that!" Nate said and threw popcorn in return. "You know, it could have been worse."

"How? How exactly could this get worse?"

"Well, luckily you guys only made out and got a little handsy, it could have been-" Nate stopped when he heard Dan let out a groan. "Wait, what? You guys slept together? Oh, this is too good."

"Thanks, Nate, buddy..."

"To be honest, I should have known."

"Why? Why should you have known? Why does everyone seem to know everything about my sex life?"

"Well, when I called Serena to ask about you she made your name rhyme with ass hole, and Blair just hung up. Oh, of course there was the voicemail." Nate said, nonchalantly, but Dan noticed a mischievous glint in his friend's eye

Dan looked up at Nate apprehensively, "What voicemail?"

"The one you left me the other night when you drunk dialed me, thinking I was Blair."

"Oh god. What did I say?" Dan's stomach dropped.

"Well, after calling me a bunch of very, unflattering names. You proceeded to tell me that I had the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes, and that my breasts were-"

"Ok, that's enough. Please just take me out to the barn and put me out of my misery."

"So, was it good?" Nate asked with a smile.

Dan spit out the drink he had just taken. "What?"

"Was the sex good?" His smile bright than ever.

"Oh my god." Dan shook his head is disbelief. Why were people always wanting him to share these details? It was ridiculous. This was even more awkward than the conversation he had with Blair before... Well, he supposed, that it actually might be more awkward now considering...

"Come on, no need to be shy." Nate interrupted his thoughts.

"I was drunk, I don't remember it." Dan said, affecting a air of nonchalance.

"Dude, you've been locked up in your loft, not talking to anyone or bathing, and you expect me to think you don't remember it?" Nate looked at Dan disbelievingly. Nate might be pretty, but apparently, when it came to dragging out personal details, he could be as annoying as...

"It was good, ok?" Dan noticed Nate's grinned and raised eyebrows and added, "It was great. Can we please talk about something else?"

Nate just laughed before saying, "Just so you know, if that" he pointed to the now mussed up stack of paper's on the table, "is what happens when you get laid, maybe you should strongly consider a life of celibacy."

Dan threw his now empty popcorn bowl at the chuckling blonde boy. Dan was feeling better than he had in over a week, but Nate hadn't been able to completely fill the hole; when he fell asleep later that night, a delicate and emotionally fragile brunette, naked and sleepfully peacefully next to him, filled his dreams.


	6. Dan's PoV: May

Note: Well, hello. This is the final part of the real story. It fits together with chapter 3, but does not jump around in time. It all makes sense to me, but I hope it does to you. There will be one more chapter after this, but it will be the Dan's PoV alternate ending. I want to give such a huge thank to everyone who has been reading this and reviewing. It is very much appreciated. Thank you from the bottom of little heart. I don't know how I feel about this chapter myself, but I am hoping you all can enjoy it. Once again, thank you!

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><p>XoXoXo{<strong>May 2012<strong>}oXoXoX

"Umm... Nate, what are you doing here, and better yet, how did you get in?" Dan stared at his friend. Nate was laying on the blue couch, head reclined and feet resting on the arm, reading Cosmo. Dan had just finished his only class of the day and when opened his front the door he had expected...well, he had not expected Nate making himself at home.

"Hey, you're finally here!" Nate said, sitting up and folding down the corner of page giving "50 Ways to Please Your Man."

"Yeah, well, I live here. Unlike you." Dan's initial shock had faded but now his heart was filling with trepidation. Nate, over the past couple of months, had decided the best way for Dan to get over Blair was to go on blind dates with various acquaintances of Nate's, several of which had asked Dan if he would prefer hourly or nightly rates. "I hope you are not here to try to set me up with anyone. I am pretty sure we can decisively declare that experiment a complete failure."

"Oh come one, Natalia wasn't so bad."

Dan just stared at the blonde, thinking about his most recent "date." _The night had began well enough; Dan had even gotten his hair cut earlier in the day. Natalia had seemed nice enough, but then things took a rapid detour when Dan brought the movie 'Sabrina into the conversation. Natalia had asked if that was the one with the gerbil guy from 'Pretty Woman.' Dan had a hard time investing in the rest of the evening after that, and the date had come to an awkward end with Natalia asking Dan to call her sometime, obviously wanting a kiss, and Dan noncommitedly nodding before extending his arm for a handshake. _

"I still can't believe you shook her hand." Nate laughed.

"It was the polite thing to do." Dan replied before changing the subject. "So, why are you reading Cosmo in MY home?"

"Well, all these magazines talk about want men really want, and women read this. So, I figured, the best way to keep the ladies happy is to figure out what they think we like, and live up to those expectations." Nate answered, looking as though he discovered the answer to an ancient mystery.

Dan just stared before replying "You know, I think that almost makes sense."

Nate smiled and nodded.

"So, what are doing, studying the female psyche, on my couch? Can't you do that at your own place?"

"Chuck's has an interior decorator over."

"Chuck's redecorating the Empire?" Dan's asked, perplexed.

"She's not there for the Empire."

A darkness came over Dan's "Of course she's not."

Nate stood up walked next to Dan. "Get up." He grabbed the brunette's arm and pulled him up.

"Hey, what are you doing? Stop."

"Go change, we are going out."

"I don't want to go out."

"Fine, we can stay here and watch a movie, I brought _Varsity Blues_."

"I'll grab my jacket."

Dan was feeling good. The change of scenery had livened him a bit, and the whiskey had calmed him. Nate sat next to him, at the bar, ordering a round of tequila.

"Thanks for bringing me here, man." Dan said jovially.

Nate smiled, handed his friend the shot, and Dan drank down the burning liquid quickly. Three tequila shots later, Dan began resting his head in his and moaning about his current situation to a bemused Nate.

"You know what. I don't miss her. I mean I do, but I don't." Dan's speech was beginning to slur.

"Who?"

"Blair, I don't miss her face or her hair or her smell or"

"Yeah, you don't miss her at all."

"It's just not fair. I mean look at us" Dan waved his about "We are nice enough, not entirely horrible looking."

"You have been spending too much with Blair." Nate mumbled quietly.

Dan ignored him. "What I mean is, we are two good guys, and yet we here are are- alone and" Dan sniffed his shirt, "we kind of smell like a gym bag."

"Speak for yourself."

"The point is, why are we here when some one like _Chuck _canoodling with interior decorators and maids and hostesses and-"

"Blair didn't return to him." Nate patted Dan on the arm. "She might not be with you, but she's not with him either."

"Ugh, but the fact that it was ever a possibility is part of the problem. He treated her like property. He took everything from her-dignity, happiness, hope, he took it all, and if she wasn't Blair fucking Waldorf, if she were a weaker person, if she were less than what she is, he would have destroyed her, but we still are having a conversation over whether she would be with him or not."

"But she is Blair Waldorf, and she wasn't destroyed, and she didn't go back."

"I just-"

"I know, man, I know."

They sat in silence for a minutes, Dan finishing his beer. Later, after a few more drinks, and some, light, meaningless chatter about various sports teams, Nate borrowed Dan's phone, and called for a car.

Dan stumbled up the stairs and passed out on the couch the moment he made it through the loft's door.

A loud ringing broke Dan out a restless sleep. He sat up and was hit with a pounding headache. It took him another moment to realize that the annoying sound was coming for the home phone. He carefully stood and made his way to the obnoxious noise, and gently picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" he asked groggily.

"Dan!" Nate's energetic voice sent new pain to his aching head.

"What do you want."

"Is that the way you always greet a friend? If so, you and Blair deserve each other. Anyway, just wanted to tell you I have your phone still. Can you meet me at the van der Woodsens to pick it up?"

"Can't you just drop it off here?"

"Sorry, I can't. I um.. I just can't." Nate stumbled over his words

Dan's head hurt to much to argue, so he just simply agreed. "Ok, sure. I will be there in about an hour."

"Great! See you then!"

Dan just grunted and hung up.

A shower and a half a bottle of Excedrin later, Dan walked through the familiar elevator doors to his father and step-mother's penthouse. He immediately saw his father, preparing to go.

"Dan, hey. Good to see you! What brings you by this morning?" Rufus pulled his son into a hug.

"Nate called. I'm supposed to meet him here to get my phone back."

"Well, I haven't seen yet, but I am sure he will be here soon. I was just heading out to meet with Panic to discuss new options for their next album."

"That's great Dad! You really are fitting into this music producer role nicely." Dan smiled brightly.

"Well, I'm trying and I am just happy to be involved in the industry again. Well, I need to get going. Feel free to wait here for Nate to arrive. Lily is upstairs if you need anything. " Rufus walked towards the door, before hesitating and turning back to his son, "How are you doing? Are you alright?"

"I've been better, but I've also been worse. So..." Dan shrugged and tried to smile.

Rufus patted his son's shoulder again, nodded, and left Dan standing alone. He made poured himself a glass of orange juice, and sat at the breakfast table. As he waited, he grew annoyed with Nate's inability to keep track of time. He had enough, and readying to leave, when he heard the elevator ding it's arrival.

_Thank God._ He opened his mouth to compare Nate to something he had once seen at an NYU party, but stopped when he saw her step around the corner.

"Blair. What are you doing here?" He felt like someone had punched him in the gut.

"I'm just meeting Serena here. She wanted to visit Lily before we went shopping." She looked on edge. He supposed she wasn't happy to be forced to be in the same room as him.

"Oh." he responded quietly.

He stood there looking at her attempting to look at anything but him. He didn't know what to say, but he knew had to say something.

"Well I should go look for Serena to let her know I am here."

"Blair, I'm sorry."

The silence grew more awkward. He sighed when he saw Lily coming down the stairs.

He took a deep breath and took a few steps back. He really wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but parts of the women's conversation drifted to him. Serena had asked Blair to meet her, but hadn't shown up. Nate had asked Dan to meet him there, but he hadn't shown up. He dawning realization of his friends' scheme both warmed him and angered him. It wasn't their place to try to fix things, but he was touched that they cared enough to try. He saw Lily return upstairs and Blair turn to leave. He couldn't stay back any longer. He followed after her.

Dan heard a knock at the door. He covered the story he was working one with a folder, and made his way to the front door. He had spoken to, well spoken might have been an understatement, to Nate about his and Serena's earlier doings. He had wanted to be mad at the blonde boy, so mad, but how could he could he hold a grudge against someone who just wanted to try to ease his pain. He opened the door to the unexpected guest, and was immediately shoved out the way by a petite brunette with fire in her eyes.

"You lied to me."

His heart raced, but was able to control his voice. "Good to see you to Blair, thanks for the visit."

The rest of events were muddled in his mind. She was confessing to reading his book one moment, and the next, she was on his lap, dress pushed up around her hips, and her fingernails digging into his back.

When he awoke the next morning, it took him a moment to realize she was gone. It was a feeling he was getting used to. He knew he should be furious, but he all could muster was hurt and mild annoyance. He knew she felt something for him, but he was tired of waiting for her to realize it. He made a couple of short calls to his professors, and a longer, long-distance call to Jenny and sat down to write a letter.

He heard his row being called, and sighed. Dan looked down to the letter in his hand. He planned on mailing it as soon as he got settled in. He picked up his notebook and made his way to the line. Tension filled his body, and it felt as though there a literal battle going on between his heart and his head. _She cares about you. You know that. You can't run from this. Give her time._ _You gave her time. You gave her support, understanding, but you still were alone when you woke up this morning. She needs you to be there for her. You needed her to be there this morning. Hope. _His last thought strengthened his resolve. He had hoped. For an entire year, through an engagement, wedding, miscarriage, novel-scandal, multiple returns to Chuck, and two sexual encounters, he had hoped, and yet... He tightened the grip and his notebook and made his way through the line, and to the door leading to the plane.

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><p>Final note: Since you have, hopefully, read chapter 3, you know how this ends. Once again, thank you sooooo much for reading. My love and gratitude goes out to everyone.<p> 


	7. Dan's PoV: Alternate Ending

Alrighty, everyone! This is finally it. I promise I am absolutely done this time. This is the Dan PoV Alternate Ending. I want to thank everyone so much. I love and appreciate every read and review. All the mistakes are mine of course. I hope you like. Thank you!

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><p>XoXoXo{<strong>May 2012<strong>}oXoXoX

He tightened the grip and his notebook and made his way through the line, and to the door leading to the plane.

XoXoXo{**February 2015**}oXoXoX

Dan loved when it snowed. It gave him peace, joy, hope. Yes the roads were messier, the people grumpier, and the traffic heavier,but still, he loved it. It reminded him of playing in the park as child with Jenny and Vanessa and his happily married parents. Not that he wasn't happy in his current life- living in a beautiful city, getting to spend time with Jenny and Eric when would come to visit, and of course, writing. He hadn't written anymore expose novels, but had made a steady salary writing lifestyle and social pieces for various magazines, and had even sold a couple of short 3-act plays, all of this was done under a pseudonym of course. No more directly linking himself with the subjects of his work. He had a few girlfriends, two of which became very serious, but in the end, all the relationships failed when he realized that he wasn't able to fully give himself to them, and it wasn't fair. Overall though, life had treated had treat Dan Humphrey well.

It had been a strange day. Fashion Week traffic had forced him to take different route home, and then snow traffic had further delayed his journey. He had been sitting in the back of a taxi, in grid-locked traffic, staring out of the dirty window. He eyes quickly zoomed in on a petite woman walking out of a hotel. She had long dark hair, a cell phone into which she seemed to be threatening someone, and a scowl that was far too recognizable. He watched her make her way down to the light, cross the street, and fade out of sight. He had to be seeing things. He pinched himself hard which resulted in a small yelp and a curious glance from his driver. Blair Waldorf was in London. He sat in shock the rest of the way.

When he arrived home, he went directly to his study, leave a trail of dirty wetness in his wake. He opened a drawer and pulled a small, ornately carved box. He opened it to reveal various mementos- a program from one of Jenny's first _legal_ fashion shows, a copy of his first published story, a few Fanf Forum ticket stubs, Milo's hospital band, and an old unmarked envelope. He removed the envelope and took out the letter inside. He stared down at the words he had written almost three years ago. The air rushed out as the emotions leaked in.

_Blair,_

_I loved you. I loved with more conviction I have had for anything. I would have given you anything, but you hurt me. I was there for you, whenever you needed me, and I know that I promised to always be, but in the end, that's just a promise I couldn't keep. It hurts too much. Every time I saw you or even just heard your name, I felt like I was falling apart. I had to leave because I needed to learn to keep myself together, and I couldn't do that so close to you. Every day began with me thinking of you and every night ended the same. Over the last year, there hasn't been a minute that went by that I didn't want you . Blair Waldorf, you caused my world to crash around me, and I wouldn't change a second of it. If this changes nothing, at least you know._

_~D_

Dan looked over the page a third time. He had written it before he left that day, and had intended on mailing it when he arrived, but he hadn't found the strength. He was afraid if he sent it, he would spend the rest of his life, waiting for her to respond. _Yet, here you are, waiting just the same._ He let out a long sigh, stood up, and made his way back outside, forgetting to grab his coat. He flagged down a taxi and made his way back to the grand _expensive_ hotel he had seen exit from earlier. He had no idea if she had been staying here or just visiting, but decided it was worth some humiliation to at least try, and besides, he was freezing and wanted to at least warm his hands.

He made his way up to the front desk and the stern looking man behind it.

"Hi, is uh-there a umm, Blair Waldorf staying here by chance?"

The perfectly proper gentleman looked at Dan's current state of moist disarray before replying,"I'm sorry sir, we don't give that kind of information out to just anyone." His perfect accented voice was filled with disapproval.

"It's not like I'm going to kill her something. I just want to know if she is staying here or not."

The man behind the counter continued to look at him as though Dan had ran into the lobby shouting nonsense and wearing nothing more than an adult diaper.

What was it about Dan, that made hotel employees instantly wary of him.

"Ok, can I just leave a letter for here for her? If she is here, you can give it, if she is not, you can turn into a paper plane and toss it about the room!" Dan said, a sarcastic grin covering his face.

"I suppose you can leave some _small_ here for Miss Waldorf," obviously annoyed and ready to rid his hotel of this pest.

"What for Miss Waldorf?"

Dan spun around at the sound of her voice. Blair stood directly behind him, arms full of various sized notebooks and folders.

"Humphrey?" He noticed the shock in her eyes, but not as much as would have expected.

"Blair."

"What are you doing here?"

"I just- I um, Well" He verbally stumbled as he looked for the right words. Dan gripped the envelope in his pocket, but stopped himself from pulling it out and handing it to her. It had been three years. It suddenly didn't seem right to lay this on her shoulders. Yes, at one point he had felt all those things, and maybe he still did, but it wasn't fair to put that burden on her. It had been three years. Things had changed. They had changed. He realized that as honest as the words and feelings in that letter had been three years ago, they weren't anymore.

"Are you stalking me?" her eyes were bright.

"Am I stalking you? Are you stalking me? This is my city" He felt a warmth spreading over him.

"Hah! As if! Well, if you aren't stalking me, what are you doing in my hotel?"

Dan took a deep breath. "I saw you earlier today," a look of surprise flickered across her face, "and thought that you might be lonely. This not being your city and all,"

She let out a small "hah" before he continued.

"There is a small theater around the corner that does a classic film double feature every Friday, and thought that maybe you would want to see a movie with a friend." He stood silently, waiting for her answer.

"You have to buy the popcorn."

A bright, lopsided smile bloomed "I would expect no less, Waldorf."

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><p>Not a happy ending, but a new beginning.<p> 


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